Throughout a lunch talk with an acquaintance, somebody asked me,
‘I heard the wife of yours is pregnant. So, when will you become a father?’
‘Actually I’m a father already’ I said.
‘Oh, I did not know your spouse has given birth already!’
‘No. She is still in her 1st trimester of pregnancy!’ He was watching me with funny appearance!
At what time do we become FATHER?
Could it be when the kid of ours is born or after he/she is conceived to the mother’s womb? Not trying to be abstract or philosophical with these. Fatherhood is not so much a biological process but rather a maturing method that is going to challenge us in many facets of who we are as an individual. Fatherhood transcends the title of being referred to as a father as well as daddy! Fatherhood reflects the inner values of ours, real character as well as virtues, if any.
I’m a very’ matured’ or aged father. My fatherhood didn’t arrive until the age of forty six. When the wife of mine was conceived, I could not quite grasp the reality that I am a father. I’d long given up the hope of fathering a kid. Suddenly, I was blessed by the goodness of the Creator with a child. To me, the small image that I first saw in the ultrasound image was a touching and awesome experience from Heaven. What I thought I might or would never ever have, I have all of a sudden.
Fatherhood is influenced by a lot of persons or factors including our father, upbringing and personal character development through the years. Sadly, I have heard, known as well as seen some’ fathers’ existing with no much notion of what it means to be a father, except viewing it as an inescapable attachment of a name and financial burden as a result of some organic biological consequence. The view of this new role as a large burden rather than a blessing appears to torment these men of such attitude and mentality. The view of ours of fatherhood directly affects our family and also the fate of the upcoming generation of ours. It will have great effect on a number of lives, not just our child, but in addition our immediate circle of family. We can leave behind a legacy that will and can influence our descendants. Nevertheless, let’s limit the focus of ours to the coming generation.
We’re liable for who our children will grow up to be
Or, at the least, we have fun with a key part in making them for who they may become one day. Many parents leave the child of theirs to the teachers at school. When something went wrong, they start searching for scapegoats. They blame the teachers as well as bang tables at school. Exactly why are we blaming the school or the teachers? The kid is ours and the school’s? The teachers’? As if it or not, we are going to shape the children future of ours. More correctly, we will shape them for who they aspire to be and hate to be.
BUT, fatherhood takes not just being responsible
Responsibility and accountability suit properly for a task or at work. If fathers are simply being responsible and accountable, then we have not touched the heart of fatherhood. Trustees and guardians are likely to be accountable and responsible by the legal system. Yes, fathers are charged with accountability as well as responsibility.
Examine our idea and motives of fatherhood.
Once we nurture and teach the kid of ours, what are our motives and expectation? Are we maintaining the cane, attempting to smack the child into the shadow of ours? We’re we. our child is our child. Or perhaps, are we looking to fight and also mold them into someone we long to be? What we couldn’t be, we anticipate them to remain? Worse, are we letting them being molded and savaged by arbitrary environmental forces?
Fathers, relax and examine our brain and heart
Fatherhood is much more than the significance of a figure feared by our child. Fatherhood is significantly beyond the male ego inside us. Fatherhood is the test of ours of character. Do we love our child due to the biological connection? Do we love our child only when are convenient and free? Whenever that is the situation, we don’t understand what love is. We simply loving ourselves selfishly.
Fathers, grow up! Develop beyond the capability of who you are. When the dusts settle, do we sigh the headaches as well as liabilities of fatherhood? Or perhaps, do we sing and praise the amazing journey as well as wonderful experience which make us an even better person!